Portal Arizona, December 1995
DECEMBER IN ARIZONA
The house is quiet; the older children quietly playing
The babies are sound asleep in their cribs
My Husband and brothers-in-law are quietly talking
Three men, three strong fearless and loving men
All have seen the horrors of war, the horror of death
They are like their forefathers, they are warriors
We have the fire going, a nice warm glow, and soft heat
The warmth touches all corners of the house and keeps all warm.
The house is decorated for the Christmas Holidays
Not as brightly as in the past for one of us is missing
Soon it will be time to decorate the tree, soon it will be time.
Time to see the joy and wonderment on the faces of the children
The sound of her voice and laughter is ever present
Even though she resides with the Gods now
We feel her presence here in this Hacienda
This Hacienda that she designed and built
Here was where she would live out her life
Here she planned to raise her family
Here in the hard lands of her birthright
Here in the land of the "People" of the Apache
The house is new, but sits on old, old lands
Lands of her forefathers and of her mother
The lands of the Apache and the Old Ones
Bloody lands with many restless spirits
Cold quiet desert sands are even colder now
Winter is setting in and her warm presence is needed
There are those that need her soft laughter to feel
To feel the healing warmth of her touch
Her Tio is outside in the cold night air,
Looking to the far mountains, towards Weaver
Only a faint darkness silhouetted in the desert night
But I can see the stark outline of the high peak
The home of her Gods, now the home of her father
Her father and the brother of blood of her Tio
As I watch from the window, I see Tio leave the porch
He is a big man but moves like a ghost, not a sound
Not a sound does he make and he leaves no mark
He leaves no mark on the ground to mark his passing
He too is of these wild lands, these lands where he was born
He is at home here as he was at home in the worlds Jungles
He has fought and bled and left his spirit in the Deserts
In the hot harsh sands and knife-edged rocks of the worlds Deserts
He has seen so much, so much of the stupidity of Mankind, of our inhumanity
And yet, and yet he retains a tenderness of touch for those he loves
He has come out of the barn and now rides a blood-red stallion
He rides bareback and the horse is not shod, no sounds are heard
No tracks are left, only very faint smudges on the hard desert floor
I see his silhouette in the Moonlight and then he is gone, gone like a spirit
I walk out to the veranda, the veranda that was meant to be a place of Joy
A place where she could sit and watch her world and her children grow
It is late, and I feel a chill go down my back. It's cold now, very cold
And yet I cannot go back into the warm house, I turn and look into our Home
I see those I love safe and warm inside, I see my children as they play
I see the children of my brother-in-law as they play with the younger children
I can see my husband, my reason for being and my heart stutters for a moment
Just for a moment I am overcome with terror as I think of how barren my life could be
It is but only for a moment and then he sees me thru the window and smiles
He smiles and I know that at least for now, my world is as it should be
I walk around the porch and I look into the room of the Little One's. So alike
So alike as to be as one, they are sleeping peacefully and hugging each other
And I see them both smile as though they share a secret, a Twins secret
They look so peaceful and beautiful, I watch as in their sleep they each smile
They each smile and touch the others cheek as though they are wiping away tears
As I watch them, I cannot help but think that they are saving Angels Tears
Angels Tears, more precious than all of the gold on earth, Angel Tears from above
Angels Tears of love and even of regret, regret that she cannot hold them close
I hear the door open and hear the footsteps of my beloved,
How safe he makes me feel. How I want to feel his heart beating
As I turn to go and meet him, I look into the desert sky and I hear the coyotes
I see the moon emerge from behind the clouds and I see a shadow cross the moon
I smile for I know that the shadow means all is well in at least this part of the desert
All is well, if even for this night only all is well even though we have an empty place
An empty place at the fireplace but not in our hearts; never will her place be empty
Never will they be forgotten; always they will be welcomed here. Always!!!!
This I have said and so it shall be, from now until forever, they will never be alone!!!